Welcome.
I never set out to write a book of poetry—
not until I needed to.
Because trauma, self-discovery, and healing
aren’t just topics.
They’re terrain.
And the journey through them?
It’s messy, lifelong, and deeply human.
My story doesn’t exist in a vacuum.
And I knew—if I was going to share it,
I had to share all of it:
the good, the brutal, and the beautifully broken.
As a way of saying,
“You’re not alone.”
That’s how So Heavy, I Fell: A Journey Through Wanderland was born.
I’m a California native, now grounded in SoCal,
and a mom to a bright, hilarious little human
who reminds me every day what love looks like.
Because of them,
I found the strength to leave an abusive marriage.
And then came my diagnosis—
bipolar disorder, 2023.
With treatment and therapy,
I began to find something I hadn’t known in years:
stability.
Now,
I’m facing two decades of my life
in all its pain, its love, and bittersweet truth.
That chapter is closing—
and I’m walking forward.
I’ve rediscovered my voice.
And through it,
a path toward deeper understanding,
self-acceptance, and growth.
This website?
It’s not just a space for thoughts—
it is the book.
Not a paperback.
Not quite an eBook.
Something more fluid, more living.
Its chapters aren’t numbered.
The topics aren’t mapped.
But the theme is constant:
soul truth.
This is a collection that blends:
- Psychology
- Sociology
- Existential inquiry
- Poetic lyricism
- Soul-mapping
- Mythic insight
- Social commentary
- Journals
- Testimonies
- Stories
It’s a body of work for the reader, the thinker,
the creative, and the wanderer.
I don’t write just for myself.
I write for you.
For the ones still searching, still asking, still healing.
For anyone walking through their own Wanderland,
wondering if they’ll ever find the way home.
Welcome.
You’re not alone here.
J.N. Rose 